The Days After: The One Month Mark

When the Shock Starts to Fade

The first days after a tragedy are often dominated by shock, adrenaline, and survival. For those of you who've experienced mass trauma, you're often so surrounded by community, that you're feeling held and supportive in a way that may now be shifting. Around weeks 4 and 5, many families notice that new emotions begin to rise. The initial numbness or disbelief softens—and that space is often filled with grief, anxiety, guilt, or irritability.

If this is happening, know this: you are not weak. Your nervous system is continuing to do its work—to process, adapt, and find safety again. There is no standard timeline. Healing is messy, non-linear, and deeply individual.

Healing isn’t linear and it happens differently for every brain.

What You Might Notice as the First Month Passes

• Feelings like fear, sadness, or anxiety might feel stronger now than they did earlier.

• Focus, motivation, and attention may waver—tasks that once felt manageable now feel heavy.

• Nightmares, intrusive memories, or sudden imagery may return, even after calmer periods.

• Children (and adults) may meltdown more, withdraw, or lose interest in activities they used to enjoy.

• Guilt or helplessness about the event may emerge or strengthen—even for factors outside anyone’s control.

• For neurodivergent individuals (e.g., autistic, ADHD, etc...): disruptions to routine or sensory overwhelm may feel more destabilizing now than before.

These reactions are part of how your brain and body continue to wrestle with what happened.

A Perspective I want to Offer:

If weeks 4 or 5 feel unexpectedly hard, it rarely means you’re backsliding. These are natural nervous system responses. You are not broken or weak. Healing doesn’t move in a straight line—it moves in waves shaped by your internal world and your external context. Your brain is wired to focus on survival and safety.

Supportive Strategy Ideas for Families

For Parents / Caregivers

• Validate emotions: To yourself and to your child. “It makes sense to feel scared or sad. I’m here for you.”

• Continue to use routine as an ally: Structure and predictability can be deeply comforting, especially for children who thrive on sameness. Even small structure (meals, bedtime) can help regulate by increasing predictability.

• Offer sensory support: Notice when you or your child may benefit from quiet time, fidget tools, familiar textures, low stimulation, or gentle movement. These can help calm the nervous system.

• Model coping: It’s okay to share your own emotions in age-appropriate ways. Kids learn safety when adults show how they access feeling calm or safe.

For Kids (and All Ages)

• Creative expression: Drawing, journaling, music, or play can reach feelings that words can’t yet.

• Movement & grounding: Stretching, dancing, walking, safe physical activity can release stored tension.

• Connection time: Holding a loved one, a pet, or a comfort object. Feeling seen and held matters.

For Everyone

• Take breaks from news and social media. Overexposure can intensify stress, especially for neurodivergent brains that process sensory and emotional information deeply.

• Seek therapy or counseling. If feelings become overwhelming or start to interfere with daily life, reaching out is an act of courage and care.

• Practice self-kindness. Healing takes time. Celebrate small steps — like returning to a favorite activity or sharing a feeling with someone you trust.

Honoring Neurodivergent Healing Styles

Trauma may look differently for every brain.

• Some need more sameness, structure, or predictability to help their nervous system feel safe.

• Others may stim, pace, fidget, talk more, or withdraw for quiet.

• Shifting between hyperfocus and shutdown can also be part of coping.

• Seeking sensory comfort (particular textures, lights, movement) or adhering to routines is a valid form of self-regulation—not a regression or symptom to "fix."

Every nervous system finds safety in its own way.

These are valid, adaptive responses — not problems to fix.

If This Stage Feels Harder Than You Expected

You are not doing it wrong. Brains are wired to heal, and they heal differently. You are healing—with your nervous system, your community, and your loved ones. Even on days of uncertainty or overwhelm, your brain is working to find safety again; to learn to interpret the new alarms that were created on that day a month ago.

Go gently—with yourself, your children, and your community. You are doing brave work.

PTSD: Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

Around a month after a traumatic event, some people start to notice that their nervous system still feels on high alert — even when life looks “back to normal.” While many early trauma responses naturally ease with time, for others they linger or intensify.

At this point, clinicians may begin considering a diagnosis of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) — not as a label of damage, but as a way to understand how the brain’s alarm and responder systems are still working overtime to keep you safe.

In my follow-up post, I'll write more about was this diagnosis entails and how I understand it.

You can also follow along on instagram for a matching daily post.

With great courage and care,

Dr. Meghan & Scout

As with all my posts, this post is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment. You reading this does not constitute a therapeutic relationship. If you have concerns about your or your child’s safety or well-being, please reach out to a licensed provider or crisis resource.